I opened my eyes and looked around the room, nothing was familiar. The sun was shining into the smoky room creating a laser beam effect, where the hell am I and why is there a shotgun on my lap!? My finger was on the trigger and it was loaded, thankfully it didn't go off while I was passed out. Panic set in. I tried to get up but it was almost impossible, the room was spinning and blurry. Wiping my fingerprints off the gun, trying to figure out what was going on, praying that I didn't do something terrible, I made it out the back door. It was very hot outside but everything seemed to be normal. Nobody was concerned, there were no police and I recognized the area, but that didn't explain how I ended up passed out at a strange house, alone with a gun. I felt absolutely terrible, like nothing I had felt before. This was no ordinary hang over from booze, I felt like death.
After a short walk I arrived back at the pub, hoping someone could explain to me what happened. I couldn't go in because of my condition and also the very real possibility that I had done something really bad. It was a horrifying feeling not knowing what had happened. After banging on the back door to the office for what seemed like 20 minutes, the door finally opened. To my surprise it was my close friend Danny, this was weird because he didn't even work at the pub and here he was in the back office holding a microphone with a stack of money, full party mode. Somehow he was hosting an event at the pub all by himself, this was making my brain hurt, now nothing made sense. He broke out laughing and proceeded to tell me about the last few days. We had all been partying heavily at the pub on Friday (it was now Monday evening) and we didn't sleep at all. We did the same thing on Saturday. When people started to finally go home it was Sunday night. For some reason a few of us didn't want the party to end so we went to a local drug house where we kept going until the next day when everyone finally left. I had passed out around noon and some asshole thought it would be funny to put a loaded sawed off shotgun in my hands before he left. This house was a duplex and people were living above and on both sides, had the gun gone off it would have probably killed someone. I was pissed off! I left the pub that day and never came back, over 12 years later and I have still never set foot inside that place.
This was my rock bottom and it was time for change. I needed to get back to filming the SDK videos. Thankfully the guys still wanted to film with me and off we went, day after day. I was motivated like never before, there was no looking back, we needed to change from a negative to a positive. DIE SLOW Volume 1 was the answer.
We decided to film a Graffiti Movie and for the next few months that was all I did. Each day was spent filming with a new artist, just follow and film. Graffiti writers are very competitive and each wanted to have the most memorable parts in the movie so I constantly found myself scared to death, running from police and injured from falls, fights and poor health. This was all fine with me because it kept me busy and out of trouble. That might sound crazy to you reading this but compared to the life I had been living, graffiti crime was nothing.
Making this movie I risked my health, life and freedom but it strangely may have saved me at the same time. Life is one big question with no answers when you are young. If you are reading this and feel lost just remember I was there once too. Stay positive my friends #alwaysmovingforward. Here is the trailer for Die Slow 1, it gives me shivers watching this but I am glad we made it. Tomorrow I am releasing a new video featuring KEEP6 & CRAVER on the Stompdown YouTube Channel. See you next week. :)